Without a doubt, a wedding ceremony is the most sacred, intimate, and heartfelt moment of one’s life. You want to cherish this moment for your lifetime. So, it is a big deal when you decide to pick a wedding officiant to marry you with your partner. It makes sense now to compile a list of questions you want to ask your wedding officiant before booking him for the D-day.
I have been officiating wedding ceremonies for 20 years now in New York, so I know the fact that most couples don’t go beyond “How much do you charge”? and “When and where you are going to be available?” For such couples, the ceremony is not a crucial part, they are just concerned about signing their marriage license. But for a few, this occasion is of infinite significance. They look for the perfect person to perform a marriage ceremony for them. These types of couples and rightly so bother me with a lot of questions! In my life, I have tackled regular questions such as “Will you marry us?” to the wackiest “Will you be drunk during your ceremony?”.
Here are a few questions that will help you find the right answers before you hire a Wedding officiant New York.
Are you available on my wedding date?
This question upfront will save your time. If the answer is No, very well, Thank You and Goodbye to you, sir! If he is available, it’s time to proceed to the next question.
How many weddings have you officiated till date?
The answer to this question will give you an insight into the experience of the prospective officiant. Though, this is just a starting point. The number of marriages one has officiated is not the guarantee of him being a true professional. You will have to delve deeper.
Will you marry us?
Yes, this is not as unusual question as it sounds. Officiants sometimes want couples to meet certain criteria. A full-time pastor or minister will marry you in accordance with their religious affiliation. But with the non-denominational minister, there are fewer complications such as attending the church, following set religious practices, etc. So, both parties – couple and officiant – have equal right to select or reject the offer.
Are you ready to travel to the place I am getting married?
It depends on the officiant’s preference. Quite a few don’t want to travel or travel too far. But most will agree to travel if he sees their legitimate and professional demands are met. I, on my part, travel for officiating marriages since most of the time, I also oversee the complete wedding arrangements in the air, on the land and at the sea as per the couple’s preference. This however doesn’t mean that I will travel every time one hires me. Travel depends on the schedules of the day, distance, economic viability, and many such factors.
Will you be able to create a personalized wedding ceremony?
Officiants have their set methods to perform a wedding ceremony. Some use the generic template and quite a few take time to create a personalized ceremony for you. If you are eager to arrange a marriage that fits your personality, ask the wedding officiant if he is willing to write a personalized ceremony. I officiate both forms of ceremonies – regular and customized, depending on your preference.
What is your ceremony style?
Most wedding officiants perform custom ceremonies. They arrange things in such a way that, the ceremony reflects your personal style. You may also wish me to perform one or more of my wedding ceremony enhancements: the moving “Sand Ceremony,” very touching “Rose Ceremony,” and all-important “Child’s Ceremony” for those couples having child or children.
Do you perform LGBTQ weddings?
On June 24, 2011, when the New York State Legislature passed the Marriage Equality Act, same-sex marriage became legal. This means same-sex couples cannot be denied the rights and privileges of marriage afforded to all other couples. So, if you are part of the LGBTQ community, this question should be on your list.
How long do your ceremonies usually last?
If you and your couple are time-strapped and want a quick ceremony, you can always ask your prospective officiant the duration he usually takes to finish off things. The standard generic ceremony doesn’t take too much time, but if you want to arrange a customized wedding, your officiant may take time to create such a ceremony.
How many pre-wedding sessions we might have?
This question determines how much time you need to spend before the actual wedding ceremony to arrange things. I usually prefer to talk or meet just before your wedding to review last-minute details and discussions. The idea is to make the bride and groom familiar with the wedding processes.
How will you help us obtain our marriage license?
Ask your marriage officiant about all the processes involved in obtaining the marriage license. Ask him will he be able to dispatch the signed license after the wedding day or if you have to procure it by yourself? In most cases, your marriage officiant will manage the documentation part on your behalf.
How do you manage wedding rehearsals?
Contrary to common belief, an officiant is not obliged to attend wedding rehearsals. If you want an officiant to be a part of the rehearsals, then don’t assume he will join them naturally. You must ask the officiant to participate in the rehearsals in advance.
These are the important questions every couple should ask a wedding officiant before hiring him for the ceremony. As a Captain and your wedding officiant New York, I am aware that there are a hundred things that bother your mind. Planning a wedding can be an incredibly stressful and time-consuming affair; therefore, I am here for your assistance. I am the only active U.S. Coast Guard Licensed Captain and an ordained Chaplain registered with the City Clerk’s Office of the City of New York. For any queries, email me or talk to me.